Seasons

Fall is absolutely my favorite season. Winter is cold (horrible) but at least has the upside of cocoa and my birthday. Spring is warm and lovely and green.

But there's something about the way summer smells that is magical. Like when your skin smells of sunscreen and outside and maybe a tiny bit of sweat so it feels like you absorbed the sunshine and get to emit back to the world a little bit. Like when the bathroom smells of chlorine or salt as bathing suits and towels hang to dry, summoning the refreshing feel of water on your skin on a hot day. Like when you can tell someone is grilling hot dogs and hamburgers, taking advantage of hours of daylight in the long evenings.

Summer comes with the sort of smells that just make you feel alive and hungry, ready to get outside and gobble up all the delicious daylight you can before the Earth tilts away from the sun. As though days that seem to last forever mean the good times will, too, and any troubles will pass like a Carolina thunderstorm, here one minute but gone to reveal clear skies the next.

Because summer is the time when youth runs free, no school or job to worry about, capturing those smells to save up for winters and the years when free time is harder to come by. And then, in a break from the everyday humdrum work week, you catch a whiff of sunscreen and chlorine and feel unburdened for a moment, and life is good again.

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For real, though, I'm ready for fall. Two months of summer is enough for me.

Adulthood is a Lie

The title of this blog might give it away, but honestly it's how I'm getting through life: I'm really just faking it. I make it up as I go along and hope things turn out okay!

I recently started helping out with leading the Youth Group at my church. (They want someone younger - and not anyone's parent - to be a "role model" for the kids. And they picked me. I think it's crazy, too.) I'm not sure when, but at some point I really think we might have to have a discussion about being a Grown-up and how it never actually really happens. Like, I pay my bills on time, yes, and have a functionally clean apartment (not spotless, but it'll do). Technically, I am an adult. But… I don't feel like it.

No one tells you when you're a kid that Adulthood isn't some magical state where you always know exactly what to do, exactly when to do it, and all your problems can be easily solved. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought of it this way; I'd hit some magic "adult" age like 20 or 25 and have everything figured out, life would always make sense, I'd have all the answers. I'm pretty sure I felt like I had more of the answers at 16 than I do now.) You just assume that you'll get through school, get a job, and you'll be an Adult who can be totally responsible and do Adult things and solve everyone's problems. (In retrospect, that was a silly expectation, considering the number of times I thought adults were doing a pretty shitty job of running things. But of course, I'd be a Real Adult and never have those problems!) And then you achieve one goal, but no, you're not really an Adult yet, you don't have a Big Kid job, you're still in school. And then you finish grad school and know that you'll be an Adult when you've got an apartment of your own. Except Real Adults have apartments that are nicely furnished and decorated, and you've only got half the curtains up on one set of windows (true story), so you clearly don't count yet. And you don't really have responsibility for any living things yet (certainly not children, as that would be terrifying, but not even a dog, just a snake, and that doesn't really count because they're so low-maintenance) so clearly you're not a Real Adult. And some days you don't do your dishes, and you haven't vacuumed in ages so there is hair everywhere, and sometimes you don't even shower (let's not even talk about the chocolate explosion that you still haven't cleaned off your car seat), and Real Adults wouldn't have the sorts of problems with motivation that you have. They might have lists a mile long of all the things they want to do (like make a cool header for their blog, or finish hanging the curtains in their living room, or actually clean their apartment, or alter some clothes they picked up at the thrift store two years ago) except they actually do them.

Except that's wrong. Because (alright, I could be wrong about this too) I think we all just spend our lives kind of blindly groping our way toward our next goal, pretending like we're super-productive Real Adults who can Do It All and Have It All and still get enough sleep. (And some of us will actually admit to pretending.) I, for one, would just like to acknowledge that I'm a Real Person, just a silly little human who makes mistakes and doesn't know everything and is just trying to get through my life and maybe improve myself a little bit, if I'm lucky that day. I'm getting better at forgiving myself for not living up to my own ridiculous expectations; I am me and if sometimes that means the only thing I accomplish in a day is making a lunch to take to work then that is enough, I am enough, and I can try again tomorrow to be a better version of me, but if I don't succeed tomorrow I can try again the next day and all the days after that.

 So I think we should start telling kids that growing up never really ends. You never really become a Real Adult because we think of Real Adults as capable of doing All the Things! And no one can ever do that. (Certainly not me.) And if we can admit that to ourselves, and forgive ourselves for that, then maybe we can admit that about other people and forgive them and end up living in a kinder, gentler world. Which would be nice.

Atheists and fundamentalists have something in common... pissing me off!

Dear people of the world,

Okay. Let's get something straight. Religion is not science. And science is not religion. They address completely different questions.

I'm tired of Christians (and other religious people) acting like science has no value. But I'm also tired of atheists who act like all religious people are idiots and deserve to be told that their beliefs have no value.

Here's the thing: religion and science are not mutually exclusive. I'll say it again. RELIGION AND SCIENCE ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

One answers questions about how the world works. And the other answers questions (or at least attempts to answer them) about what it means to be a person and, generally, how to be a good person. Hopefully you can figure out for yourself which is which.

As a scientist and a Christian, I'm sick of hearing religious fundamentalists discount science. I'm also sick of atheists discounting religious beliefs (perhaps you would be more comfortable if I just referred to them as a philosophy). For the religious fundamentalists: stop treating theological texts like they're scientific/historical texts! The Bible (or Torah or Koran) is not now and never has been a science book. Acknowledging that it is not literally true does not take away from the moral lessons that can be obtained from it. (And guess what? "Cherry picking" is what we all do, and it's not actually that bad.) Science is not out to get you and your beliefs. Science is based on real, observable facts and testable, falsifiable hypotheses. Incidentally, religious beliefs in the existence of a God are neither testable nor falsifiable, and so do not qualify as scientific (which is why Intelligent Design should never be taught in science classes). Just because I'm a scientist does not mean I don't believe in God. For the atheists: stop acting like you're so much better than believers because you choose not to believe. Just because I'm a Christian does not mean I don't accept scientific truth (or as close to truth as you can get in science). Here's the way I see it: you're like the first kid in class who finds out Santa isn't actually a real person, and then you have to tell all the other kids that what they're believing isn't true. Except, if you watch the Christmas specials, it quickly becomes apparent (at least, it does to me) that Santa doesn't have to have existence in this reality to have power. That idea of doing something for someone else, of sacrificing your own time and energy to make others happy, of helping other people have a better life and see a little magic in the world, is what Santa is about. I'm sorry that you refuse to believe in any sort of "non-real", "non-scientific" phenomenon, but I choose to see magic and beauty and meaning in life, because I'm a human and it makes me feel connected to other humans (and other life). I'll listen to your belief (or lack thereof) in a deity, if you'll listen to my (admittedly not entirely clear even to myself sometimes) beliefs. But my choosing to continue to believe in a Santa of some sort does not give you the right to treat me like I'm stupid. Yes, I have faith. And I'm happy to continue with my faith. My continued belief in God does not harm you, and as such it is none of your business. It is between myself and the God I choose to belief in. I don't need you to act like my admission of belief is an invitation for you to try and prove to me why I shouldn't believe. I don't treat your admission of non-belief as an invitation for me to try and convert you to my faith. I'm sorry if other religious believers have treated it that way, but I will not. Please return the favor.

One final time: RELIGION. IS. NOT. SCIENCE. AND. SCIENCE. IS. NOT. RELIGION. They are not mutually exclusive.

Sincerely,
Katherine

PS - I think that Santa analogy kind of got away from me there... It did come off rather "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus". Granted, I obviously support that idea, so...

It's been a very giraffe-y week

Dear giraffes,

How are you so ridiculous? You're just all neck and leg and hilarity.

Also, why are you suddenly in my life so much? I went from an average of 0 giraffes per week to 4. That's a pretty huge jump. First, there was this picture, which inspired my roommate to say "nipple-licking giraffe," which is possibly the funniest phrase ever. Then, I saw this picture, which made me laugh as well. You heartless bastards. (As a side note, the commenters seem to think the correct answer is A, or possibly B, but it's totally C. For the answer to be A or B, there would need to be some reproduction going on; since it's just showing that some individuals are less able to access the limited resources, C should be correct.) When I first saw the picture, there was also a link to Eddie Izzard talking about evil giraffes, which is a funny idea. And, because his running giraffe impression was spot-on, I had to look at some actual running giraffes, which is probably the most hilarious thing by far. All I can think when I see a running giraffe is, "What the hell?" And then I laugh. Because when you take an animal that's originally awkward looking, with spindly legs and knobbly knees and a ridiculous, gawky neck and then make it move fast, the result is pure, hilarious ridiculousness.

I do appreciate the humor you have added to my life. It vastly improved my week.

But you definitely look ridiculous.

Love,
Katherine

Pearls are not appropriate exercise attire

Dear girl at Zumba today,

I'm sure it's vital that you look your best during this high-intensity workout. You are probably one of those girls who never seems to sweat and looks perfect after working out (which is unfair and ridiculous, by the way). However, wearing pearls is crossing the line. Now you look like you're trying way too hard. (Also, aren't you worried they'll get messed up or broken??) Please cease this inexplicable behavior.

Sincerely,

Katherine