Adults: they take care of stuff

One thing I do know about being an adult is that it involves being responsible. Lots of days, I feel like I don't really have my life together, so how can I possibly qualify as a grown-up? Then I remind myself that a) many people - including people much older than me - don't have their lives "together" in terms of knowing what their ideal career is and b) I do my best to behave responsibly by paying my bills on time and keeping my apartment relatively clean and trying not to run my car into the ground and caring for my plants and pet.

One of my coworkers (who is 26 or 27) will be taking guardianship of her 12-year-old cousin in a couple weeks because of a bad family situation. The boy's mom died recently, and his father has been... acting out, for lack of a better word - staying out all night, forgetting to buy food, forgetting to take his son to school, dating inappropriate women (inappropriate in that the ladies don't call him out on his BS in not caring for his kid). She's a little freaked out. At the same time, she knows it'll be better for him than living with his father right now. And she's planning to take a new job that will let her work "normal" 9-5 hours. She'll be missed by us (I'll definitely miss her!), but this job is better for her career-wise, and certainly better for someone who has a pre-teen kid.

So, while I would be more terrified than my coworker at suddenly finding myself taking care of a human child, it has helped me realize that, in the essential things, I'm doing a pretty good job at being a real adult. I recognize when things depend on me, and I get things done in an appropriate time to take care of stuff. It's a reassuring thought that, should a crisis suddenly arise, I have the skills and coping mechanisms (and a pretty great social support network to call on!) to deal with it. So I guess I actually am a fully-functional adult? Such a weird thought.

Growing-up 2: Escape from Suburbia

Boring things you have to do when you move out of your parents' house (again):

• Go grocery shopping

• Do all your own dishes

• Do your own laundry

• Pay your own bills

• Be in school Nevermind, that's done! (Thank goodness!!)

• Cook meals for yourself, or else you really will be taking PB&J sandwiches to work every day

Basically, there are a few perks to living at home. Especially when your parents are really awesome and actually save leftovers for you to take to work. But… there are also

Awesome things you can do when you live alone:

• Pee with the door open
• Leave dirty dishes in the sink because the only one getting mad at you will be… you
• Procrastinate from doing the dishes by writing blog entries

• Clean at 1 am

• Cook at 1 am
• Make crafts at 1 am

• Have dance parties at 1 am

• Basically, do whatever you want at whatever time you want

• Fill the fridge and pantry with only your own food
• Get dressed in the living room while watching TV (you can't judge me because a: it's the warmest room and it's still winter and b: I do what I want!)

What's that you say? Have I already completed one of my New Year's Resolutions? Yes, in fact, I have!

Technically, I'm doing okay on the second resolution, as well, since in February I decided I wanted to try and cut high fructose corn syrup out of my diet as much as possible. My goal for March is to actually get legitimately unpacked, I think. I moved into my apartment over a month ago, and I still have boxes of stuff sitting around. It's a problem! Also, I need to improve my organization, which will help with getting unpacked. Two birds, one stone. That's how I do.

"Happy New Year! SET SOME GOALS!!"

Dear 2013,

I'm glad you got here (yay for not dying in the Mayan apocalypse that was never going to happen anyway!), but… Are resolutions really necessary? It just feels like a lot of pressure. And I think I've had enough of feeling pressured to finish a certain thing in a certain amount of time for quite awhile. (Grad school was more than enough pressure for me, thanks!)

I mean, I've already got some goals. My ultimate goal for a while now has been to finish 50 books in one year, but I've failed at that pretty spectacularly over the past couple years thanks to being in school - so I'm being kind and just setting myself a goal of 35 books for this year.

Okay, so that is just one goal.

I do definitely want to move into my own apartment. Aha! A resolution: get own apartment! (Fingers crossed I can get that one checked off before the end of January. I will be a goal-reaching machine! Or at least get to feel like a total resolution champ.)

I think I'm pretty okay fitness-wise. I work out regularly, and I've been doing really well at that for the past several years. I don't see that situation changing for any reason, so I can't do the "normal" resolution to be more active. I refuse on principle to resolve to lose weight (because I think that puts the focus on the wrong aspect of health) (and only in very small part because I don't want to have to buy a new wardrobe if my clothes get too big). I suppose I could resolve to "eat healthier" than I do… but I'm flat-out unwilling to give up baked goods, I see no reason to give up gluten when I'm not allergic to it (it's a pet-peeve of mine anyway that people who aren't even sensitive to it suddenly think that gluten is the devil and they have to give it up for no medical reason), and I love dairy and meat too much to really give those up either (vegetarianism just wouldn't work well for me, and veganism is right out). So those stereotypical resolutions don't really fit.

I would like to get more crafting done. But again, I don't want to put more pressure on myself than I feel is necessary, and achieving my one resolution should help in that department anyway since it'll be easier for me to access all my supplies and tools all the time.

I really, really want a dog of my own. But I am responsible enough not to get one before I have my own place (since my parents dog is the absolute sweetest with people but is often fearful of (and thus aggressive toward) other dogs), and even after I have my own place I'll need to take some time to establish what sort of routines I'll have there and decide if I actually have the time and energy (not to mention money!) to devote to a dog. So I'm not going to resolve to get a dog, when that might turn out to be a bad idea for me and the absolute worst idea for the dog. (How adult of me to know my limits!)

So my New Year's resolution/goal list looks like this:

• RESOLUTION: get own apartment

• GOAL: read 35 books (although 50 would be supreme)

• GOAL: do more crafting (so unquantifiable! Which is exactly how they tell you NOT to set goals. Oh, well.)

I have thought of two more possible goals: Visit friends in DC, and visit friends in Boston. Both of these are things I would love to do this year, and I have tentative plans forming already. But, as with the dog goal, life could have other opportunities and obstacles that could preclude either or both of these visits. If the trips happen, they'll be amazing. If I end up not being able to go, it will be disappointing, but not the end of the world. (I feel so gosh-darned adult, taking time to actually consider the implications of my goals and how I'll feel about not reaching them!)

Do I fail at New Year's if I've only got one real resolution? I hope not!

Oh.

Wait.

Brainwave.

(I'm awesome.)

I should resolve that, at the beginning of every month, I will evaluate my current resolutions/goals, as well as contemplating whether there are additional resolutions/goals I could add to the list, either for the month or the rest of the year. (Do I think I could make lunch plans with several old friends? Could I try something to help manage my shyness? Should I do something really brave every week?) Two resolutions ain't too shabby!

I guess, overall, I can just be satisfied with the fact that 2012 was a pretty good year - certainly better than 2011 was for me - with plenty of ups to offset the downs, and then do my best to make 2013 better!

Cheers to you, 2013! Let's make this a good one!

Yours with hope,

Katherine

Books of 2012

I managed to finish 28 books in 2012. (I think the max I've read in one year - at least since I've been keeping track of them - has been 39. And that was one of the years I spent my summer in a place with sporadic internet access, so I fell back on my first love to pass the time.) Some of them (particularly the more YA-type novels) I read as part of a personal effort to try and actually read every book on my shelf, a goal made more difficult when I can't always remember whether I've read something or not! I've included notes on some books, which you might or might not be interested in. The 28 books were:


1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling, finished 1/9/2012
• Part of my quasi-annual reread. It was just as good as always!
2. Troubling a Star by Madeleine L'Engle, finished 1/23/2012
• Because it was on my shelf and I didn't remember reading it. On finishing, I definitely had read it before. But I enjoyed the reread anyway.
3. Switcheroo by Olivia Goldsmith, finished 2/11/2012 
• Not that I only read romance novels for the sex, but when I read something that has clearly been marketed as a romance novel and there turns out to be no sex scene, it's kind of disappointing. This book was kind of like a PG-13 movie - you get some kissing, but then it fades to black, so you're aware that sex has (probably) happened but you're not explicitly (Heh, see what I did there?) informed.
4. Billions & Billions: Thoughts on Life and Death at the Brink of the Millenium by Carl Sagan, finished 2/25/2012
5. Peter Pan by J. M. Barry, finished 3/6/2012
6. True North by Kathryn Lasky, finished 3/10/2012
7. A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L'Engle, finished 3/16/2012
8. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, finished 3/19/2012
• A pre-movie reread.
9. Dogs and Goddesses by Jennifer Crusie, Anne Stuart, and Lani Diane Rich, finished 3/27/2012
• Infinitely superior to Switcheroo! Actually, probably the best of the romance novels I read this year. There was a halfway decent plot with interesting characters, good writing, and, yes, actual sex scenes.
10. The Night Life of the Gods by Thorne Smith, finished 4/30/2012
• I remember being… not so impressed with this one. Maybe I'd have liked it more if I read it when it was initially published back in the 1920s.
11. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, finished 5/23/2012
• I've really grown to like Austen (and other more character-driven novels). It gives me hope that I'll enjoy J. K. Rowling's new novel when I get around to obtaining and reading it!
12. A Swiftly Tilting Planet by Madeleine L'Engle, finished 5/25/2012
13. The Moon by Night by Madeleine L'Engle, finished 6/4/2012
14. Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James, finished 6/20/2012
15. Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath, finished 6/24/2012
• Read as part of a book club with some other grad students (until they gave up for the summer, and I finished it). Some sound ideas, overall, and definitely a useful book to keep around for reference! I should probably dig it out to help myself with writing blog posts and telling stories...
16. Fifty Shades Darker by E. L. James, finished 7/1/2012
17. Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James, finished 7/12/2012
• The infamous Fifty Shades series! Honestly, the "thrill" kind of wears off… well, even before you finish the first book. Those stories about these novels being slightly modified Twilight fanfiction? Pretty darn believable - and, let's be real, I've seen fanfiction with better writing, and that's all free. There is a slight possibility I got so bored with the series because I have issues with Bella Ana's character - many of her decisions just made me want to scream with frustration. Funny (relevant, I promise!) story: I picked up Twilight at Target once and got roughly 10 pages in before I had to put it down because I was so disgusted with Bella as a character. (I regularly read teen-directed books, and she reached unprecedented levels of angst and self-pity almost immediately. It was unbearable.) So, yeah, it's possible I would have enjoyed this more if it weren't (allegedly) based on characters I already couldn't stand reading about (or even watching in movies).
18. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J. K. Rowling, finished 7/20/2012
• For the read-along guided by the "Alohomora" podcast. If you're a total Potter-head like me, you should check them out!
19. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, finished 7/23/2012
20. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, finished 8/6/2012
• Both of these were rereads, because I have problems not finishing a series once I've started it.
21. Five Stories by Willa Cather, finished 8/18/2012
• "The Enchanted Bluff," "Tom Outland's Story," "Neighbor Rosicky" - my favorite!, "The Best Years," and "Paul's Case"
22. Winged Pharoah by Joan Grant, finished 11/7/2012
• An interesting and thought-provoking read! Perhaps it's sacrilegious, but I regularly reevaluate my ideas regarding faith and religion based on secular media. This book definitely inspired some reflection!
23. Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts, finished 11/10/2012
• The facts I found most interesting were the ones that were obviously outdated - the book was published in the late 1980s.
24. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon, finished 11/25/2012
• So good! My mom and her neighbor are both hooked on these books, and I'm afraid they may have made a new convert in me.
25. Taggerung by Brian Jacques, finished 12/1/2012
• Stolen from my sister's bookshelf - after the "tidying" of my book boxes into a few stacks in one corner, such that they are incredibly difficult to access. I hadn't realized how much I missed Redwall until I (re?)read this!
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling, finished 12/6/2012
• To go along with "Alohomora." Now my problem is that, as they move on to PoA, my copy is buried in the previously mentioned pile of boxes. I don't know which box it's in, and I'm not sure I have the wherewithal to go searching!
27. The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy, finished 12/19/2012
• Another of those character-driven British novels! Parts of it dragged a bit, but the story overall was a good one, if a bit tragic.
28. Eragon by Christopher Paolini, finished 12/20/2012
• Also stolen from my sister's shelf. Perhaps I'm too harsh in my judgement, but I was… less than impressed. I doubt I'll bother reading the other books in the series. This one just seemed to drag on f-o-r--e--v---e---r. Maybe I was overly influenced by some criticism I read/heard of when the book was first published, but it (like Fifty Shades) did in some cases just seem like poorly-adapted fanfiction of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. (Seriously, "urgals" versus "orcs." Are we really fooling anyone there?) Plus, did I mention that it seemed to drag? I could not believe how long it took me to read. I suppose it could be from the "world-building" necessary in this kind of epic fantasy. And world-building is all well and good! But it generally requires an ability to, y'know, build worlds. Preferably without making your book feel tedious. It feels kind of wrong to say it, but I just didn't care about the characters or what happened to them, either. I'll admit, I'm idly curious about what happens in the next books, but not curious enough to actually put myself through the torture of reading them.


So, that was what I managed to get finished in 2012! I'm currently working on a couple more books stolen from my sister's shelf - The Neverending Story and Undead and Unemployed. Hopefully I'll be moving into my own place soon - which means I'll once again have access to my books and can really work on getting them read!


I usually set a goal for myself as far as how many books I'd like to read in the next year. Considering I don't have to worry about grad school anymore (school in general is a tremendous drain on reading-for-pleasure time!), I'll be ambitious and set a goal of 35 books. Books I'd like to read include The Casual Vacancy and Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl. And probably a reread of Let's Pretend this Never Happened, because it's so damn hilarious! (And recommendations are always accepted!)

My tonsils may be trying to kill me

Warning: I'm talking about being ill in this post. So if medical stuff makes you squeamish, you might want to skip this one. Although it's really not that bad - there's no surgery, or profusely leaking bodily fluids, or broken anything... Read at your own risk, I guess?

My body hates me. In October, my tonsils came after me. I started feeling a little sick on a Wednesday - my throat was slightly sore. I assumed I was coming down with a cold. Thursday morning, it was definitely sore. And I decided to use all my energy baking cookies (because I'm terrible at making decisions when I'm sick. And because I'd promised my friend I'd make them for her birthday, and I keep my promises!). So work that evening was hellacious. I wrote a lamentation/ode to Nyquil. (Proving that suffering leads to the creation of art, if you can call this poem "art.")

A Sickness Lamentation

If only I had worked here

For more than three weeks.

I would have enough leave time

To just skip out

Early

And go home

And sleep.

The sleep of the dead,

A healing sleep,

A Nyquil sleep.

So when I wake up

I will feel new

And whole

And free of this plague.

My eyeballs won't hurt,

And my back will feel fine.

My constant desire

For hot fluids

Will have evaporated.

Oh, Nyquil!

Your beautiful, sleep-giving embrace

Waits to enfold me

In unknowing bliss.

The next three hours

Will feel like torture,

As I anticipate

Your sweet, medicated taste.

Yeah, "poet" is obviously not on my short list of "Jobs I'd be Awesome At."

Friday morning, the Nyquil had failed to produce my anticipated result of helping me sleep off my "cold." My throat felt so gross I skipped out on going to the fair for my friend's birthday to get more sleep. When I finally got up, I looked at my throat in the mirror and was terrified to see a huge white spot on my right tonsil. I gargled with salt water, which of course didn't get rid of the white patch. I drank some tea (which was way more helpful in soothing my throat than the salt water. I'm pretty sure the "gargle with warm salt water" sore throat remedy is just made of grossness and lies.). When I started feeling achy all over I took my temperature: 101°F. My natural response was to start panicking that I might have strep throat, and I didn't have enough leave time at work to take an extra day off, and it would look super sketchy to call in sick the day before my scheduled vacation day, and I wouldn't be able to go see my friends that weekend, and my entire life was going to be ruined, and…! (I was seriously freaking out about this situation, y'all.)

I managed to calm myself down ("Don't start freaking out until you know you actually have strep," I told myself) and I took myself to the doctor's office, where my temperature was down to 99 (woohoo!) and the quick strep test came back negative (Hallelujah!). But, as the doctor noted, it was pretty obvious my tonsils were infected because of the patches of bacteria, some of my lymph nodes being swollen and painful, and my tonsils being huge. Interestingly, they asked multiple times whether my tonsils were normally large, which I had no clue about because I generally only look at my tonsils when I'm sick and my throat is sore, so of course my tonsils are all swollen at those times! Honestly, I don't spend much time looking down my own throat when I'm feeling perfectly fine. (Subsequent checks seem to show that it's plausible I have largish tonsils anyway, but I don't really have any to compare them to, so I still don't know.)

Anyway, it turns out recurrent infections (e.g., getting strep throat every year for about 4 years - yep, did that) can leave you with abscesses in your tonsils in which bacteria - or sometimes food that you eat (that is seriously one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard) - can get stuck and lead to infection. Awesome. My tonsils are trying to kill me.

And then the doctor and the pharmacist colluded to kill me some more by prescribing antibiotics that came in horse pill form. Or possibly it's like Murphy's Law of Medicine - any condition involving a sore throat will be treated with the most gigantic pills available. But I managed to choke (sometimes literally) those suckers down and get cured! Yay! Now I've just got to continue keeping an eye on my tonsils in case they do this again and actually explode or something. (Not sure if that's actually something that might happen, but the doctor made possible future infections sound pretty dire, so I'm assuming exploding body parts would be involved. Or, y'know, just a tonsillectomy.)

Some Break-ups are Not Hard

Dear Wells Fargo,

Look, I gave you a chance. But you just were not meeting my needs, so I think it's best that we part ways.

First, you wanted to start charging me a fee to use my own debit card. Fortunately, you thought better of that move real quick. But then you decided to charge a fee for all checking accounts. (Even student accounts. I've seen your fliers, I know what you were doing! That's just low.) "Oh, you're fine!" you told me. "The fee gets waived if you have a high enough balance or if you're direct depositing enough money every month!" This did not reassure me, considering you decided to begin this program just as I finished school and started looking for jobs. Meaning my direct deposit would be stopping, and there was a chance I might actually deplete my account below the threshold. (As an aside, I can pretty easily see why it's so difficult for poor people to work their way out of being poor. If your employer requires you to be paid direct deposit, and you're not making enough for the fees to be waived, you're not only having to worry about stretching your paycheck to cover rent and food and transportation and everything else, you have to worry about paying rent for your money, too!) And, y'know, it's kind of the principle of the thing. I'm allowing you to use my money to make money, and you're charging me for that privilege. I call shenanigans. And this doesn't even take into account the treatment I got at the branch when you were first informing people of this fee. (Short-ish version: I get a call and set up an appointment with a guy at the Clemson branch because they have something important to discuss with me. I go in on the day of the appointment and the person I'm supposed to see is, apparently, not available. I watch the teller calling workers at the bank, trying to figure out what to do with me. Eventually a banker is able to see me, and tells me about the new fee, and tries to convince me to upgrade my account or open a credit card or do something that allows Wells Fargo to take even more of my money. But it's not really leaving a good impression to treat your customers like they don't matter, which is the message I get when you forget an appointment that you yourself requested.)

I'm fortunate enough to be able to join a credit union, so I began making plans to shift my banking.

And then your customer service got even worse.

My debit card was set to expire at the end of August. I called just before the end of July and found out that a replacement had been sent to South Carolina -  just before I moved away. Alright. I'll accept the blame there. I probably should have informed you of my change of address earlier. But then I was informed that, for the card sent to South Carolina (which ended up who knows where) to be cancelled and a replacement issued, the current card (the one I was still using, the one that expired in August) would be cancelled. In what world does this make sense? Is it really that difficult to tell your computer system, "Don't activate the inactive card, and issue a new card to the correct address, but keep the currently active card."? I didn't want that happening, so I went into a branch. Where they gave me a temporary debit card and ordered a new card to be sent to me in the next week or two. Supposedly.

After about two weeks, with no new debit card arriving, I called you again. Turns out, when I went into the branch, they didn't actually order a new card for me, and they didn't cancel the card that got sent to South Carolina. So at this point, there's a debit card with my name on it floating around who-knows-where, ready to be activated. What. The. Hell. But this time, that card actually got cancelled, and a new one actually was sent to me. (Minor flaw: apparently the temporary card I was issued got cancelled or disconnected from my account or something at that point, because I couldn't use it, even though I specifically asked whether it would still work and was told it would be fine.)

So, finally, after all this hassle, I'm at the point where I can close my accounts. First, I had to empty the account, so I wrote myself a check for the balance and put it in my credit union account. Honestly, I would have expected some sort of alert to come from you about that transaction, because I wouldn't consider completely emptying an account "normal" activity. So that doesn't make me very confident in your ability to protect my money. Then I closed my accounts. (Online! It was super convenient, so props to you for that.) My savings account closed the same day; awesome. You told me my checking account would close within two days, to allow any pending transactions to be completed, and a message would be sent to me when it actually closed. Two days later, I received an email that an important message regarding my request was in my online banking message inbox. The online banking that I can no longer access because I closed all my accounts. Seriously? You're sending me messages that I can't read? That is the most supremely unhelpful thing ever. In order to confirm that my account had truly closed, I decided to go to a branch instead of calling. The teller noted that I could have called the 800 number, but I feel a better use of my time was the five minutes I stood in line at the physical bank, as opposed to the 10-20 minutes I would have spent trying to reach a live person on the phone. (Also, they require you to put in your account number when you call, which makes sense for them looking up active accounts, but is not at all useful for people who don't currently have accounts.)

Basically, your customer service these last few months? Awful. And I really won't miss you at all. My credit union not only doesn't charge me fees for using my debit card or having a checking or savings account, they actually pay me interest on my accounts.

Farewell, Wells Fargo. I hope you don't treat all of your customers with the same level of service I received.

Sincerely,

Katherine

Bravery

Mark September 25 on your calendars, folks: I spoke up in a meeting. It was full of people I didn't know, but I voluntarily talked. Bravest thing I've done this week!!

(Why is this a landmark? I'm ridiculously shy. So these moments of bravery might not seem like much to anyone else, but they're pretty monumental to me! I've gradually improved, mostly at things where there's a sort of "script" already, like interviews. And presentations aren't really a big deal. It's the conversational things that typically terrify me, so I'll take my victories where I can!)

Hopefully it's not contagious.

I think I have a terrible case of foot-in-mouth disease. I have become incapable of not saying something insensitive to my friends. For example:

I'm playing Munchkin (a card game. It's super-fun, look it up.) with my friends. I help a friend defeat a monster, but play a card that allows me to steal the levels she would have gained. As she's finishing her turn and marking our points and levels down...

Me: Did you remember to give yourself a level for defeating the monster?

K: *stare* You mean the levels you stole?

Me: *facepalm* Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry!! I wasn't even thinking!!

Then, just last night, I was watching TV at my friend's house.

A: You know what I'd really like? A CookOut burger.

Me: I had one for dinner!

A: You really think now is the time to share that?!

Me: Oh, sorry!! I wasn't thinking! You could go get one…

A: I'm vegetarian!!

Me: Agh! *shamed*

So, yeah, I just can't win. Maybe I'll just stop talking altogether.

Unacceptable Things: Special K Commercials

Dear Kellogg's,

Your recent Special K commercial - you know, this one - gets so close to having a great message. "Wouldn't it be nice if we focused less on the number, and more on how the fit makes us feel?"

Yes. Yes, that would be really nice. And the imagery you've got going there, with "Radiant" and "Sassy" and "Va-va-voom" and "Ooh-la-la" and "Confident" instead of size numbers, is pretty good. When I see that part of the commercial, I think to myself, "Self, this might actually be a product I can get behind! A product that emphasizes actual health instead of obsession over numbers!"

And then the rest of the commercial happens. "Take the Special K challenge, and slip into size Sassy in two weeks!"

Damn. So close… and yet so far.

I guess "Sassy" just means 4 or 2 or whatever-one-size-down-from-the-viewer's-current-size-might-be-even-if-that's-00.

(This is not even mentioning the ridiculousness that is the "Special K challenge" - am I the only person who gets hungry just thinking about the idea of eating just a bowl of cereal for two meals every day for two weeks? I am not a very pleasant person when I'm hungry. So let's just hope I don't ever decide to take this challenge - chances of that actually happening are slim to none, but strange things do occur - when I need to be around people and act like a normal, friendly human being. Because that won't happen; I'll just be hangry for two weeks.)

Seriously, Kellogg's, this is just not acceptable.

Disappointedly,

Katherine

PS - You want to know a company that, at the very least, seems like they want their customers to feel good about themselves? Lane Bryant. Where they don't tell ladies, "It's just about how you feel in the clothes, not the number on the tag! But you should go ahead and drop a size anyway."

Today, I have zero willpower

Dear chocolate bunny,

"Oh, I'll just eat the ears," I told myself. But you were too delicious. I had to keep going.

"I'll stop after I finish off the head." No dice.

"Just the bow tie, then. This thing is supposed to be 2 servings, that'll be about half."

And still, you were too delicious. I kept going. And when there was only about a quarter of a rabbit left, I just had to admit to myself, I was going to finish you.

And then I had eaten an entire chocolate Easter bunny.

On the bright side, you were only 2.5 ounces of chocolate. And you only cost me 50 cents, since I bought you on post-Easter clearance today!

Anyway, thanks for demolishing my willpower. I hope there aren't any hard feelings, seeing as I think I paid you back by eating you totally.

Sincerely,
Katherine

P.S. Um, yeah, there was apparently a "63" at the end of my post title for a month and a half. Whoops.